What are some good jokes or riddles?

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A blonde and a brunette walk into a building. You'd think that oneof them would've seen it.

My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems!

Two cows talk in a field. "Moo," says the first cow. "I was justabout to say that!'' said the second cow.

Sally only likes certain things. Sally likes red, but doesn't likeyellow. Sally likes chestnuts, but doesn't like lollipops. Sallylikes ice cream, but doesn't like stopping. Sally doesn't likeRebecca Black, but, then again, who does?

Anyway, what does Sally dislike?


Sally doesn't like words that have two of the same consonants backto back.

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting c----

Knock! Knock!
Who's there?
Toad who!
Toad you that I know lots of funny jokes.

A Chicago man dies and goes to hell. When he gets there, the devilcomes over to welcome him. The devil then says "Sometimes, it getspretty uncomfortable down here."

"No problem: I'm from Chicago," the man says.

So the devil turns up the temperature to 100 and the humidity to80. To the devil's surprise, the man is doing just fine.

"No problem: it's just like Chicago in June," the man says.

So, the devil turns up the temperature to 150 and the humidity to90. The man is sweating a little, but, overall, he lookscomfortable.

"No problem: it's just like Chicago in July," the man says.

So now the devil turns up the temperature to 200 and the humidityto 100. The man is sweating profusely and has taken off his shirt.Otherwise, he seems okay.

"No problem: it's just like Chicago in August," the man says.

Now, the devil is really perplexed. So, he turns down thetemperature to -150. Immediately, the humidity in the air freezes,and Hell becomes a frigid, barren wasteland.

The devil is shocked to discover the man jumping up and down andcheering in obvious delight. The devil asks the man what's goingon.


Q: How do you make time fly?
A: Throw a clock out the window!

Q: "The red guy lives in the red house. The blue guy lives in theblue house. The purple guy lives in the purple house. Who lives inthe white house?"
A: The President!

Q: What is brown and sticky?
A: A stick

Q: My cousin is a runway model, but where?
A: At the airport!

Q: Why is six afraid of seven?
A: Because seven ate (eight) nine!

Q: How you get down from an elephant?
A: You don't; you get down from a duck!

Q: Two elephants want to go swimming, but the life guard says thatthey can't go. Why?
A: They only had one pair of trunks between them.

Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because there was a Chik-fil-a.
A. To show the opossum that it could be done.

Q: What do sharks and computers have in common?
A: They both have megabytes.

Q: A cowboy went into a town on Friday and stayed for three days.Then he left on Friday. How did he do this?
A: He went into a town on a horse named Friday.

Q: Soft as a petal that falls from a tree, the more I dry, thewetter I'll be. What am I?
A: A sponge or a towel.

Q: I run all day and never walk. I tell you something, but I do nottalk. What am I?
A. A clock. (Not a watch, because you can watch anything!)

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?
A: You don't; blondes are born that way.

Q: There's a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They are all inthird grade. Who's the oldest?
A: The blonde. She's 18.

Q: Why was the blonde mad at her drivers license?
A: She got an F on sex.

Q: Why is a blonde tip toeing past the medicine cabinets?
A: She doesn't want to wake the sleeping pills.

Q: Why was Bigfoot really mad at his cousin?
A: She said "You're too scared to growl at a girl."

Q: What did the blonde do when she saw the YMCA sign?
A: She said "Haha! they spelled MACY's wrong!"
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