Why didn't the Hellspawn cross the road?

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He's short-sighted and mistook the chicken in front of him for anangel
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Why didn't the chicken cross the road?

The chicken didn't cross the road because... - there was a KFC restaurant on the other side. - it was busy changing a light bulb. - there was no one there to egg it on. -
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Why didn't Marcus cross the road?

as a matter of fact he couldnt. why? because he got runover by a fiat punto. a white one. he dented the bonet, broke the left wingmirror and put a crack in the bottom left